The Intimacy Catch, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex carries tremendous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are brought in to incredibly hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel really near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to powerful feelings of destination, excitement, love, closeness, and wellness .

However when issues develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They more than likely read this article wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that a number of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in metropolitan locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather more helpful hints than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship click here to find out more based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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