The Sex Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries immense meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to incredibly hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, closeness, love, and wellness .

But when issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They probably would not admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that much of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in city locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex see here isn't really going to be excellent?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with common sense. While great sex is essential why not try this out for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and worths -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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