The Sex Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries enormous meaning and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be good as well).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the that site opportunity to make love with somebody we are drawn in to extremely tough click here for more to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , causing powerful sensations of attraction, excitement, closeness, wellness, and love .

But when problems occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They more than likely would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that a lot of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in urban areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North includes, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a click here for info relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, objectives, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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